Saturday, 17 April 2021


I've made two more batches of cinnamon knots this past week.  They do seem to help somewhat with depression although my pants are getting tight.  My neighbor is enjoying the cinnamon knots as well because I share them with her.  We really don't need to eat a dozen cinnamon knots and they're much better on the first day.


We had a coffee table that was made of glass and metal and we finally decided to switch it out before Jack banged himself too badly on it.  Katie had a dark brown coffee table that she took apart, so the big guy put it back together and I painted it white with chalk paint and then put wax over the paint.  Turned out okay.  Jack was surprised by the switch up and kept calling the metal and glass coffee table, his table.  "My table".  He also tried pronouning pterodactyl.  He's a fan of dinosaurs and outerspace.



The snow is pretty much gone again and I'm going to take the dogs out soon for a walk at the dog park.  Fresh air and sunshine, good for the soul.

A goodish week at work but a lot of sad stories from patients.  I stand or sit and listen.  We all need to tell our stories, especially the heartbreaking stories.  My employer doesn't understand that part of caregiving is listening.  Grief lives in our building and requires as much care as shortness of breath and pain.

One of my favorite young patients was in this past week.  She is twenty-nine years old.  As a child she had leukemia or lymphoma, can't remember which, and was treated with radiation to her chest.  Now she has metastatic breast cancer.  When I saw her she had yellow eyes, a belly and a cough.  Her cancer has spread significantly.  Her liver is filled with tumors and she has fluid around her lungs which needed to be drained as soon as possible.  We got that done for her but it will keep happening until she dies.  She is a sassy young woman and shares my middle daughter's name.  Her mom came with her this week because now she needs a wheelchair to get around.  She knows she dying and she's still full of piss and vinegar.  

I bought more fabric today for my next quilt.  Katie has a new, bigger bed, a queen size now which she loves, so now she needs a queen sized quilt.  Orange is her favorite color and it goes nicely with blues.  It's springtime so I won't have much time to work on it but when I do have time I'll be ready.  It will be a simple nine patch quilt, which is just small squares put together.


A quiet day which the big guy and I both need.  The house is clean and I'll have time to spend outside in the garden before it snows again tonight.  Jack comes after supper to spend a couple of nights with us.  Katie will get to visit with him tomorrow which will make her week.

Slowly recovering from the last bout of depression, fucking black dog.  

12 comments:

  1. I would not have thought of pairing orange with blue. It looks very cheerful and will be a pretty quilt.

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  2. You do well to look after Jack so often. I find it hard entertaining my Granddaughter for long periods of time even though I love her very much, I just find it draining.

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  3. It's good to hear your voice, and I love the row of beautiful fabrics. Katie will sleep well under her orange and blue.

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  4. Glad you're feeling better. The fact that the snow is disappearing probably helps! I think the table turned out great, and your quilting fabrics look good together.

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  5. I love that table. You did a beautiful job on it.
    I'm glad that the depression is ebbing. Whatever it takes to help you show it to the door is what you should do.
    What a beautiful quilt you are going to make your Katie.

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  6. Nice fabrics. I look forward to seeing the finished quilt.

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  7. Ha ha, his first words are "table" and "pterodactyl" - you can't make that up can you. I'm glad you're starting to feel better now. I've never suffered from it and can only imagine how soul-destroying it is!

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  8. The cinnamon knots look delicious.

    So brutally unfair that she had childhood cancer and now MBC.

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  9. So let's get this clear... Does Jack = The Little Guy? If so, I am glad to discover that he has a proper name! May we assume that The Big Guy also has a name? The most popular name for a boy in The Netherlands is Noah. Has The Big Guy been building an ark?

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  10. So much activity, I am looking forward to the quilt. And thank goodness, the snow is gone.

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  11. Those cinnamon knots look absolutely delicious and comfort inducing. I'm sorry about your recent low mood, but happy your girl Katie is doing well and will get to see Jack. I am in awe of the caregiving you do, both at work and at home. I am sending love and warm healing thoughts and the wish that you will be able to replenish fully all you give out each day.

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  12. hi deb, you have the hardest saddest most important job. xoxo
    your painting and quilting and grandmothering and dog walking sounds just right.
    love kj

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