Sunday, 20 January 2019

Winter colours.

My son is out of jail.  Yay.  I realize I like it when he's in jail.  I know where he is.  He's sober and he can't call me.  So now I have to hope and pray that he stays sober, that he doesn't harass his ex-girlfriend, that he does what he says he will.  He wants to be there for his son.  I want to hope but that hope has been run over so many times, there's little of it left.

I'm tired, beyond tired and I'm guessing it's related to stress.  The big guy has a huge knot in his shoulder, also stress related.  Fuck.

Spring seems so far away.  I know it's edging closer but I it will be awhile before the snow melts and the plants burst through the soil again.  In the mean time I get up, go to work, make supper and do the laundry.

I can't tell if it's depression or fatigue or stress.  Or maybe it's all three.  A ménage a trois of distress:)

It will pass, eventually.  Time to make supper.

7 comments:

  1. It’s always nice to remember that. It’s temporary. I’m sorry about your son on so many levels and kind of understand about wanting him in jail. I have a person in my life who is better off while incarcerated. Hugs to you.

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  2. I think it's pretty natural for you to feel more at peace about your son when he's in jail. And of course depression and fatigue and stress all go together like pancakes and coffee and syrup. That's the way it is.
    I hope all the best for you, sweet woman. You are so strong but my god! Everyone has their limits.

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  3. One foot in front of the other, one breath at a time. Some days, that is enough.

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  4. Dark cold winter days. I complain about the heat here, but I don't miss winter. Waiting for the sun, living with the grit and brown slush - on top of everything else...it's bound to weigh you down. But those blue skies when the sun does shine - those I miss. Enjoy the skies, keep breathing and know that you are loved.

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  5. There's nothing that quite compounds stress and sorrow like dreary winter days. I hope for you that your son is able to pull himself together and be a good dad.

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  6. I hate the winter. I hope your son sorts himself out. Let's hope his desire to be there for his son is his motivation.

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