Friday, 27 February 2015

I'm sick.  I can't decide if I have a horrible cold or the flu.  It's probably the flu but I can't tell if I have a fever or not because of the hot flashes.  I'll live but it does amaze me how such a small thing can have such a huge impact. 

I didn't get the job I interviewed for.  I was told I was too emotional, hence the last post.  Turns out the doc who was in on the interview didn't like the fact that I stood up to another doc and advocated for my patient.  Too bad for him.  I am not going to quit advocating for my patients.  So I will be remaining where I am.

Katie was finally back to her old self last Sunday when we went to Special Olympics Bowling.  She has her twinkle back.  She spent a lot of time in emergency over the past month and I'm hoping things will be boring for awhile.

I had a dream about my friend Shirley.  I was in my old house and I went downstairs into the family room.  There were a lot of people there and Shirley was sitting on the couch.  She looked right at me and said, "You can see me, can't you?'.  She was a ghost but I could see her and she looked wonderful, like her old self except she let her hair stay gray.  She was laughing and smiling and complaining about her hair cut.  It was so wonderful to see her, to know that she was okay.

I'm looking for a house to buy but it's frustrating.  I imagine as the weather warms and the economy gets worse, there will be more homes available in my price range.  I am itching to get my hands dirty in a garden.  It will happen;  I just need to be patient, not my strong suit. 

“Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.”

- Dalai Lama XIV


  1. House hunting can be tough but I hope the right one comes along for you soon.

  2. Deb,

    I am so very glad the book is helping you. I know what it is like to feel so exposed. Trying to explain what it is like to a non-HSP is almost impossible. I have been this way my whole life but lately with the added hormone changes I feel like my my heart has been rubbed with steel wool. And it hurts all the more because nobody else can see it. "Take cafe of yourself" they say. "You can't save the world", they say. But I wonder what the world would be like if more people were HS. We would all be kinder. We would all be gentler. We would never let people go hungry or allow people to be sick and not cared for. Would we have wars? Would the environment be in the state that it is in? My god. Think about it.
    All that said, we do have to live in a world wear it feels like we have been severed from a power greater than ourselves but left to figure it all out on our own. It seems a cruel joke if you ask me. If there is a God why is she/he so silent?
    Anyway, the very least it helps to know you are not alone. I know the book says about 15 - 20 % of the population is HS but I think you and I are VERY HS. I scored all but one in the affirmative. They only one I didn't answer is being very hungry. I can go all day without eating.
    Please send my an e mail anytime, dear one. I likely won't have an answer but I can nod my head and know where you are coming from.

  3. *where not wear. (Yes, it is time for bed!)