Thursday, 31 October 2013

Miss KT is having a hard time. Actually, she's been having a hard time since she turned eleven, ten years ago.  Puberty grabbed hold of my little girl and made her more fearful and more aggressive.  When Katie was fifteen and a half, we could no longer care for her and she moved into a group home.  When she was seventeen she was evicted from her group home because of her behavior;  my ex-husband and I brought her home to live, against his wishes.  Six months after that, we found an agency that would care for her.

For the most part, the agency has done very well in dealing with Katie's difficult behaviors.  But Katie's life is smaller now than it was when she lived at home.  It continues to shrink because of her behaviors.  She is now in a wheelchair, to keep those around her safe.  She also has to wear a cape around her and the wheelchair, to keep her from pinching people or pulling their hair.

We received a warning from horseback riding a few weeks ago that Katie would not be allowed to continue riding unless we supplied the volunteers to walk with her, because of her behaviors.  I don't like visiting Katie much either.  She has so much anxiety and with it, the behaviors.  She can be happy and a second later, scared and unhappy.  I walked beside her on Sunday while she rode, she pulled my hair, she scratched me, she screamed, she cried, she slapped her head and finally started hurting the horse.  We pulled her off the horse.

Katie has been riding for close to ten years.  She loves horseback riding but even that causes her anxiety now.  I don't know what to do.  She sees a new psychiatrist in two weeks.  This doctors deals with people with mental disabilities and behavioral problems.  I'm hoping she can help because right now I see a bleak future for KT and I don't want that.  KT is an amazing young woman and I want her to have a good life, not just an existence.


  1. Oh, this makes me so sad, and I can only imagine your own sadness, worry and anxiety. It's just got to be the medications, Lily Cedar -- and that MUST be addressed. I hope that the doctor is a good one that you trust, and that something good happens. You need a break. Katie needs a break. She's such a beautiful young woman --

  2. It also makes me sad to read this. I work with many individuals that have challenging behaviours. As a caregiver I want to find out what the cause of the problem is and so often all that happens is more drugs are given instead of finding out WHY. As you know, the hard part is that it could be several issues causing Katie's frustrations. It must be awful to not be able to give words to all that she is feeling.
    As a caregiver I always want to make people feel better but I am learning that that is not always possible. Just know that I care about you. Sending love.